Protein March Madness: The Ultimate Battle for Gains

Welcome, sports fans, to the most anticipated tournament of the year: Protein March Madness! This single-elimination battle pits the 16 greatest sources of protein against each other, with matchups determined by:

• Flavor
• Nutrition
• Convenience
• And Versatility

The road to the championship won’t be easy, but only one protein can rise above the rest to claim the title of Undisputed MVP (Most Valuable Protein). To ensure fairness in the judging process, I’ve included the science and nutritional statistics that determined each match, and I used ChatGPT to randomly set the matchups and to calculate all the winners (so don’t come at me just because I work for a company where “chicken” is part of the name).

Scroll down to the end of the article for a quick nutritional reference table comparing all 16 competitors’ protein, fat, calories, and carbs.

Sweet 16: The Opening Bouts

Chicken Breast vs. Nuts 

There’s a lot to love about plant-based proteins (environmental sustainability, not least of all), but nuts are high in fat and low in complete protein. While they do provide healthy fats and fiber, they just can’t compete with chicken’s lean, muscle-building protein profile. Winner: Chicken Breast.

Greek Yogurt vs. Pork 

Pork comes in strong with protein-packed chops, but Greek yogurt flexes its superior protein-to-calorie ratio and gut-friendly probiotics. Bonus points for being spoonable and versatile in both sweet and savory dishes. Winner: Greek Yogurt.

Beef Sirloin vs. Shrimp 

A heavyweight clash! Sirloin brings iron and creatine, but shrimp is low-calorie, high-protein, and rich in omega-3s. But this matchup isn’t JUST about nutrition. Despite shrimp’s agility, sirloin’s deep, meaty flavor clinches it. Winner: Beef Sirloin.

Protein Shakes vs. Cottage Cheese 

A battle of convenience! Protein shakes boast immediate post-workout absorption, but cottage cheese wins on versatility, slow-digesting casein protein, and gut-boosting benefits. Winner: Cottage Cheese.

Eggs vs. Beans & Lentils 

Eggs, sometimes called “the perfect protein,” face off against a plant-based powerhouse. While beans & lentils provide fiber, eggs dominate with complete protein, essential amino acids, and culinary adaptability. Winner: Eggs.

Tuna vs. Turkey 

Turkey may be the holiday hero, but tuna delivers lean protein, omega-3s, and portability in a can. Plus, it’s way more common in meal prep. Winner: Tuna.

Protein Bars vs. Soy 

Soy brings a complete plant protein profile, while protein bars win on portability and convenience. However, many bars are basically glorified candy, with loads of sugar and artificial fillers. Winner: Soy.

Tilapia vs. Lamb 

Tilapia is the leaner choice, but lamb packs more B vitamins, zinc, and deep, rich flavor. Lamb takes the upset win! Winner: Lamb.

Elite 8: The Battle Intensifies

Chicken Breast vs. Lamb

Chicken’s leanness, affordability, and extreme versatility put it ahead. Chicken goes well with EVERYTHING. Lamb? Not so much. Winner: Chicken Breast.

Greek Yogurt vs. Soy

Greek yogurt’s higher protein content and probiotics secure its spot in the Final Four. Winner: Greek Yogurt.

Beef Sirloin vs. Tuna

Sirloin’s iron, creatine, and muscle-building amino acids overpower tuna’s portability. Winner: Beef Sirloin.

Cottage Cheese vs. Eggs

While cottage cheese is great, eggs’ complete amino acid profile and culinary versatility take the win. Winner: Eggs.

Final Four: The Showdown

Chicken Breast vs. Greek Yogurt

A hard-fought battle, but chicken’s pure protein dominance and meal-prep versatility again clinch the victory. Winner: Chicken Breast.

Beef Sirloin vs. Eggs

A matchup for the ages! Sirloin has iron and bold flavor, but eggs’ affordability, nutrient density, and perfect protein structure send it to the finals. Winner: Eggs.

Championship: Chicken Breast vs. Eggs

What comes first, the chicken or the egg? Both proteins boast top-tier nutrition, versatility, and muscle-building power. Eggs are cheap and cook quickly, but chicken breast’s lean profile, high protein density, and adaptability in countless cuisines make it the ultimate champion!

🏆 Winner: Chicken Breast – The Undisputed MVP of Protein March Madness! 🏆

That’s a wrap, folks! Whether you’re bulking, cutting, or maintaining, let chicken breast lead your roster to victory. Until next year, stay strong and stay fueled!